
"My gold American Apparel leggings were a birthday gift from my Mother last September. Despite exclaiming that I would look like C3PO when I answered her twice yearly question of what I would like but can't buy in exchange for coinage (which is the only form of payment familiar to me these days and apparently places don't accept coinage for purchases over $10). She got them from the American Apparel store that only recently opened up in Sydney. She got me size large for the length and guess what? They're not even saggy. American Apparel have some fucked up views on what large is. I dream of wearing them with floral dresses and patent vests, bulky shoes and layered stockings. Thus far however, there have been far few days cool enough to embrace them as much as I would like but they're sitting in my closet waiting to burst out when I go to Europe in March. On this side of the globe it's expected to reach up to 40 degrees on the weekend. I have little doubt that if I wore them on such a day my circuits would overheat."
After writing the above, my dear friend Ellen informed me that the XS from American Apparel is baggy on her. Granted, she's tiny (and likes her things tight) but apparently, everyone is much smaller than I, there are no real large people in this world (THE OBESITY EPIDEMIC IS A LIE), and I am a large in American Apparel because I am, well, large. Like, a red wigged Godzilla. How have I only just realised this?